By Kudakwashe Kutinyo
PEOPLE in Zimbabwe have taken to social media to air their views over the New Marriage Act that men can now pay lobola only if they want it as a bride price is more of a moral decision rather than a adapted legal necessity.
Different reactions from people have been witnessed with some welcoming the act while others are completely against marriage act.
Few points have been raised by those in support of the new marriage act stating that parents and guardians have downgraded the lobola procedure by viewing it more of a business rather than the main reason for lobola resulting in forced marriages and gender based violence among other reasons.
Meanwhile those against the act highlighted that this is a red flag as it will destroy the culture which is meant to be respected and preserved at all cost.
Below are some of the different comments from the audiences that arose during an open discussion led by BANO NEWS.
"You have taken the money aspect ahead of Ubuntu. This was practiced long back from time immemorial. It was called token of appreciation. Ukwakha ubuhlobo. Creation of bond. So now nxa usuthatha Unga appreciatanga how are you going to value our culture. Okunye asikunanzeleleni. Sibulala isiko lethu."
" Let us strive to defend our culture there's no excuse or any explanation that can be put forward to avoid Lobola it's our culture ,if we allow erosion of one cultural activity everything African will evaporate".
"Imagine after 10 years 🙆♂️😰 there will be nothing African in Africa, where is that old time where everything was normal, the time is at hand hey you watchman.
These lobola qns were not in existence I don't know much of the meaning but we have less divorces of that generation.
Is it Jacob who had to work twice to get the wife he wanted.
How beautiful it was after hard work getting what he deserved the most beautiful price ever he had worked for.
Would u keep her when you know she was valueless when u got her. Just my thinking it was not written or said".
"That's a good move coz Lobola led to exploitation of women: In some cases, the bride price system can be used to exploit women, as they may be seen as commodities that can be "bought" or "sold" for money, the payment of bride price can turn marriage into a business transaction, rather than a union based on love and commitment.And also In some cases, the payment of bride price can create an unequal power dynamic in the marriage, where the husband is seen as the "owner" of the wife.- Loss of independence".
"The gender quality notion is what has brought us here. To keep our culture especially kithi lapho engiphuma khona siyakuqakathekisa. And we have never asked ridiculous bride price".
"Please understand where lm coming from kudala things were okay we knew that men were breadwinners that's why they paid bride price so if women and men recieve the same salary and they're at par in terms of job opportunities what's the use of bride price sometimes in other communities women have higher positions than men so they should pay groom-price".
"Very soon our African culture will be eroded nothing will be left for us to say this is our way of life simply because of mordenisation. Kulotsholwa abantwana not umfazi maybe abantu bengaqala bazwisise that part".
"As much as appreciation is important bakithi lets not maximise on this important part of the child's life- the minute u oveecharge umtanakho will bear that athethiswe ngakho on regular basis".
"Let's look deeper , why it made sense to pay lobola. Back then women were raised to be future mothers , they were taught how to take care of everyone , starting with their siblings.Fetching water , cooking , and listening to their husbands. When schools were introduced girls did not go to school fear being that they will come back enlightened and refuse to obey the husband.
Now we raise our kids different we want them to be leaders , doctors , police , presidents whatever they want to be be. Then you expect this enlightened person to just obey the husband because he paid lobola . Our culture has changed something new is emerging".
"Lobola must be reasonable. Yikho sekulama murder amanengi imagine ngikukhiphele 50 000usd besengithola ulele lokungumuntu. Ngiyakubulala vele".
"Times change we have to understand that and during that time it was considered as s right thing to do but because of the changes of time we learn to appreciate things/people as they are...
Lobola is good but it must be done in a way of building relationships not ukuthi abanye bethole igap yokunotha.
